Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize