About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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