we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I look better un-naked...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
