I murdered the dance floor call the cops
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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