dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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