you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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