totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
