it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
