listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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