worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize