So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
