It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize