I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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