i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
