Slut skills are useful in every country.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize