Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
