I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
