dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
