She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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