I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
