Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
