Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
