If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
