Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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