We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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