We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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