Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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