So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
