i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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