she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
