Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize