i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
