Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
