where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
