I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
