Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize