New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
