I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize