weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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