I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
