"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
