I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
