so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
