sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
