think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize