He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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