When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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