the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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