Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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