Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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