And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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