Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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