Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
