The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize