I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize