Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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