Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
