I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
