I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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