We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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