No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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