No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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