and you said cock pushups were impossible
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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