Do you still have your period?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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