My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
