she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
